My Canadian Lens

I didn’t realize how Canadian I was until I moved to Haiti. And what exactly do I mean by that…I mean that as a Canadian, I can rest in the fact that I, along with everyone else in  my  vast country  will be taken care of….from birth to the grave.

 In all honesty, socialism has been a source of comfort to me…my apologies for the shivers up the spines of my Republican American friends.  In some ways, Canadian taxation for free health care, social development, and old age pension is a source of pride to me and many Canadians but  in some ways can  ease  personal responsibility or moral obligation to those in need. Though we may not say it out loud, we think it…” … “There’s no reason for anyone to be sick or hungry in Canada. They have social services,  and free health care”.  

Canadians are cushioned   by social safety nets that can rob us of daily faith. In fact…. moving to Haiti has made this reality shamefully evident to me:  my faith is shallow in comparison to the Haitian Christian sister who pleads with God “Mange nou bezwen an, ban nou  l jodi a” ( Lord give us this day our daily bread).  Instead, the North American prayer life focuses on future potential problems “Lord, give me exponential return on my RRSP’s so that I will be able to retire at 55”.

 I can’t help that I see the world through my Canadian lens. I want Haitian’s to have free health care, free schools, opportunities, infrastructure, social justice and crime prevention and I Know God wants that too…but, I also need to see Haiti through the lens of God. 

After we’d been here for a month, we went to a beach near Cap Haitian called Cormier Beach. It is a private resort type hotel and beach where many foreigners seem to congregate on week-ends. I felt uncomfortable pulling into the parking lot alongside NGO vehicles. Somehow I’d arrogantly believed I was beyond the need for time out from desolation and neediness; but here I was…shamefully parking beside every other organization in Haiti. In spite of the guilt, we had a fantastic meal, the sun was hot, and as I ran into the water, an uncontrollable bubble of excitement rose up in me and I laughed to myself with incredible joy. I said to God “God…you are so good to me” and a still small voice challenged me by answering me back…. “Does that mean that I am not good to them that are outside of the walls of this place?” God was not trying to make me feel ashamed or guilty for being where I was. He was challenging my world view…my Canadian perspective. I lay back into the ocean…floating... and thought about the way I associate the goodness of God with pleasure, comfort or stuff and while those things are true, I had failed to see the beauty in ashes, the oil of joy in mourning and the praise that comes out of deep distress and anguish.

A month back my friend Elio shared a story about being extremely hungry. Elio’s family is very poor and his father died 6 years ago. His mother makes about 1000 gourds monthly ( $25). He described having very little to eat for a few days  but he had 10 ( 25 cents)  gourds in his pocket  that would buy him somthing to eat on this day.  As he walked down the road he said a young girl came to him and said “ Oh Elio…I am so hungry . I haven’t eaten anything today and I had very little yesterday”.  Elio said “I gave her the 10 gourds I had and I need to tell you that God took away all my hunger pains and to this day, I have never felt hungry again”. I felt tears well up in my eyes as he told his story with a beaming smile. He was describing the goodness of God in his life and a personal miracle he has experienced.  Although I tried to rejoice with him in his testimony, I had a difficult time seeing the miracle…because my lens was clouded by what I was looking at in front of me….an extremely thin young man that probably hadn’t eaten yet  today.

Before I continue I need to clarify that this blog is in no way attempting to remove church accountability in   responding to the poor.  My friend Chris said to me “It drives me crazy when short term mission teams go back and give testimonies to their churches about how happy the poor people are… ‘they don’t have a whole lot but they are so happy’.   There are a couple lessons in this blog for us as North Americans:

1.       Richness is Associated with Faith- Richness is not found in social safety nets, strong infrastructure, security, or stuff. James 2:5 states “Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which he hath promised to them that love him?” While we may have a well-developed country, we may be under-developed spiritually.

2.       As a Canadian, acquiring richness of faith may involve a choice- Many of my Christian Haitian friends don’t have a choice. Their difficult lives demand true faith. They pray for their next meal, they plead fervently with God when they can’t pay for the school bill for their children. They ask God every night to protect them from “mikwob” (microbes).  I hear them praying through my glassless windows at 3 and 4 in the morning. There is a book I’ve been hesitant to read titled “Following Jesus through the Eye of the Needle: Living Fully Loving Dangerously” by Kent Annan (A Canadian by the way…). I think this about sums it all up. Am I willing to make choices in my life that will give me true richness… fervent daily faith?

I end this blog with a question to my readers. Are we willing to make the necessary choices in our lives that will enable us to experience true richness with God? Can I …or will I follow Jesus into a life where I will live fully and love dangerously?